I'm back!

I am back from my trip home. So many great times, and discussions and so many emotions. I call it my trip home because yes, it is where I grew up, but I no longer have any family there, but the friends I have there are really my family, even though we have been apart for 5 years. And the overwhelming emotion I felt over the weekend was that STL really is my home. Which is kinda weird because I didn't really feel that way last time I lived there. But upon returning it just felt so good and so right to be there. And the funny thing is, I'll probably never live there again. That was another wierd emotion I had there. Its like I belong there and even still live life there, like I'm just on a long trip away, but I most likely will never live in STL again or around these women. I immediately picked up where I left off with old friends, like we had never left. Some I have seen, some I have not, one friend even lives in Singapore and happened to be in town while I was there, we were highschool and newlywed friends. We all stayed up late at night, visitig, sharing, crying, praying, laughing a lot, and one night getting our groove on!. It was weird. It was like I had been transported back to my "cool years". You know those years you don't have many responsibilities and definitely no kids. And actually this group of friends were a part of the cool years and then we all had babies together and became "cool" moms together. And sitting around the patio one night we shared what was going on in life, the highs, lows, and what's next. Lots of heartache shared, deaths, divorces, child issues, family issues, job woes. We were so introspective how in 10 short years so much can change. Now granted going from newlywed to career and 3 kid homes, is a huge difference, but I wonder if in the next 10 years we will see such drastic changes and movements by God, are the 20s just a crazy time, or does each decade do a number on you. I imagine so. Why are these women/families so important to me. We were only together 4 years. That is nothing in the scope of my life. Again, is it that age, we all navigated those crazy years of life together. I dunno. Or will I be blessed every decade with such a core community.

I also got to go back and visit my childhood home and schools. It was wierd. First of all, as you have all experienced, man everything seemed smaller scale. That hill I sled down 100x was like a mole hill. My giantly steep driveway, not so steep. I was a total snoop. I knocked on my old door, but no one was home, so I then preceded to look in almost every window I could. I must say the new owners have changed almost everything, and are into the aztec look, kinda wierd. But I sat and stared at all the familiar things, my bedroom window that I used to sneek out of, the path I walked a million times. It all seemed so familiar but so far way. I don't know what my deal was but my heart was racing and tears welled up in my eyes most of the time. I don't miss childhood, but I miss that connection to my past. As my earlier post mentioned, I don't feel much of a connection. My  mom, sister and I are closer than we have ever been, but there is still a void, my dad, and it is such a large void that it makes going back or thinking back, kind of empty, so I guess we don't do it much or talk about it much, so I guess I just had a flood of emotions going home. I guess thats good.

The reason I got to go home was because my close friend was throwing a huge bash for her 10th anniversary, it was so much fun, footloose and fancy free, but for her and almost everyone at the party, and odd time of reflection and joyful remembrance. So here's to the 20s, a wonderful life navigating, changing and fun time of life.

oh and if you are wondering how Ritchey and the kids did. Well swimmingly. They never made it to school on time once, ate out a lot, but most importantly had fun together doing things "daddy's way" which is different and much less efficient and rational than my way, but still gets the job done!

ok, so the pic to above is from back in the day, camping with friends pre-kids.

The pic to the right is the week before we left for LA, a going away girls night. So this would be mom's with toddlers.

Here we are hanging out on the patio after a weekend of late nights, pardon our appearance. And just so my friend Kim isn't mortified, she normally is gorgeous but this was after getting like 3 hours of sleep 2 nights in a row. And Rachel is training for a marathon, thus the happening outfit. Me, I'm gorgeous as always!

Oh, I'm normally gorgeous, except for my double chin. Ask me someday and I'll show you my trick to make it disappear for pics (which I'm clearly not doing here. This is what my friend looks like with more sleep, make up and a ravishing 10th anniversary mock wedding dress!