Thoughts about raising kids.

So Ritch and I got in a serious child raising discussion the other night. I think I have mentioned that my boys have been in this neverending (like going on a year now) hyper mode phase. Its hard to enjoy dinner times, free time, family time, and all times in between because you are having to holler over their loudness, force them in the bath, force them in bed, and break up the fights. But more than outright disobedience it is just the energy they have which does lead to them not hearing a word we are saying. Anyhoo, Ritch in particular has not enjoyed this phase of parenting. It exhausts him physically and me mentally. He feels all he does from the minute he gets home is say, no, stop that, no, no, cut it out, time out, spanking, get in bed, quiet down, kinda stuff, and that is no fun. He was sharing all the fun memories of his childhood, and specifically commented that he was ever like this as a boy. Now granted we rarely remember what we were like, but I do believe that he was a quiet boy, always in his head, solving problems, etc. And the personality of he and his brother are different then ours. But its also hard not to examine our parenting, is there something we are doing that is causing such distruption and craziness. So since Ritchey can only compare our childrearing and homelife to that he had growing up, this is what he went on. The only conclusion Ritchey can come to is the fact that we lead a much more structured home life then he had growing up. His family never had bed times, never monitored t.v. time or junk food consumption, never had their kids get jobs in their teen years, no curfews, etc. Sam and Janet are very much go with the flow, flexible folks. And despite what most parenting books might say, they produced 3 excellent, responsible young men. Our house is quite different. We are in no way some authoritative prison like home. But we definitely have some boundaries. We have snacks at snack time rather then grazing all day, we have limits on t.v. time and video game time. We have a pretty consistent bedtime and nap times. We have family dinners most nights, battling with Cooper every night to choke down his food. We have homework time, clean up time, etc. etc. Now I personally don't feel that these structures are too, well structured. But Ritchey wonders. Are our kids having a fun and carefree childhood, or are we dictating their every move. It definitely got me thinking, I see his point. But when I break it down, I truly feel like all of these structures/routines are from my conviction and heart, and are best for my family. They are not decisions made on a whim or to have a controlled life. I truly don't want my kids watching t.v. at their whim. I don't want video games to be their go to activity, I want them to ask when they want a snack rather then have free reign of the junkfood drawer and so forth so on. I realize this is different in every family and I totally reserve judgement, but my heart of hearts just can't relax on it. I have this problem lots in life. I am pretty black and white when it comes to my personal convictions. Now thankfully, thanks to Romans, I have relaxed in how I apply my convictions to others, but for myself and my family, its hard to shake what I feel is best. I'm certainly open to discussion, as Ritchey and I did the other night, but it takes a very good argument or a massive movement of the spirit to show me otherwise. And let me interject that I am trying to say YES to their random crazy impulses more, reserving no to those things I feel strongly about. Anyhoo, So here are my conclusions, and I would definitely be open to some of yours. Ritchey thinks the boys are acting up because of all the rules/structures (but he couldn't name a rule or routine that he thinks should go), I think they are in this phase cuz of their ages. 7 years old is a not an older child with maturity and self discipline, but they are slowly trying to find their new independence, have wildly creative minds, and still tons of toddler energy. Cooper, my 5 year old, well that is all you have to say, 5 year old boy with an older brother. No longer is he this 3 or 4 year old toddler that just toddles around folllowing and obeying his brother, now he is a full on participant with his own crazy ideas and plans and voice. I dunno, any amens to these two ages. So combined, watch out. And Cooper especially is my free spirit, melodramatic one, which Ritchey's family never had thrown into the mix. And my second conclusion, is yes, my kids may not have the same fond memories that Ritchey has, like late nights with his parents, or cartoons all Saturday morning (although we do all snuggle in bed and watch a few cartoons together on Saturday), but they will have fun memories, just different memories. I dunno, maybe I'm making excuses. I do know that as Parker in particular ages, I need to figure out how to give him freedoms and independence. And I don't want them to look back on this time as a time they tried to break free. But I just don't feel that is what our family is like, I"m not sure Ritchey thinks that way either. The point is, we are trying our best (pretty much), we are seeking the Lord and following what I hope He is laying on our hearts, and we are trying to keep the dialogue going, remaining flexible over the years. I think our kids have  a good life. I think when we do follow our routines and our rules, I do it in love and most of the time tenderness. We all do damage to our kids in the long run, I hope ours is kept to a minimum. So as Ritch and I ended our discussion, our final thought, was, man, raising kids is hard. Especially if you want to do a good job. Ok, I vented. I don't post this necessarily looking for answers, although if you have some, do share. And I don't post this to hear feedback saying, "oh, no, you are doing a great job". I just do it to keep up the dialogue I suppose, and to be held accountable maybe, and well just to vent, cuz that is what a blog is all about. Thanks for listening to my more serious rantings this evening. Here is a pic of my wonderful little clan, just for the fun of it.